Sunday, October 23, 2011
New Things
Ok so I apologize for not updating this in so long. Unfortunately a lot of things happened all at once and I lost track of this blog. I hope to change that and start updating this more often. I also would like to throw it out there for those who are bored check out twitter.com/sirenjockey. I'll be using that to post some of the things that happen at work that aren't big enough for a full blog. Hope I can keep track of both and not be too lazy lol.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Learn how to drive please
So it was bound to happen, that I would write a blog about how people need to learn how to drive. I realise that when you have a speeding ambulance coming towards you with lights and sirens on it could be scary. I realise that some people may have not been taught how to react when they see this speeding emergency vehicle coming towards them, so let me teach you a few things.
What not to do when you see an ambulance coming toward you:
1. Do not stop where you are. You would be amazed at how many people see us coming and just stop exactly where they are in the middle of the road. I'm not sure why but they stop causing us to slam on our breaks and take evasive maneuvers in order to hopefully not give them an ambulance enema.
2. Do not try and beat the ambulance. When you see us coming and you are at an intersection do not speed up and try to pull out in front of us and beat us. Don't play the "I didn't see you" excuse either. I have driven it up to an intersection and the people saw us and just glared when we honked our horn because they couldn't wait the 10 seconds for us to pass. I've been flipped off because they tried to beat us and we didn't slow down.
3. When stopped at an intersection do not run the red light or pull out in front of the people next to you. We will go around you or stop until the light changes and you can get out of our way.
4. Do not pull over to the left, if at all possible pull over to the right. The right is the other left.
5. Last but not least. DO NOT IGNORE US WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! You would be amazed at how many people ignore us and just keep on going. Then they get mad at us when it takes us forever to get to their own emergency.
In the end please pull over to the right. Please do not put yourself into danger in order to get out of our way. We have a job to do, do not get pissed at us because we are going to some one's emergency. Remember when you have your own emergency how you were an ass and made us late to someone else's. Thank you.
What not to do when you see an ambulance coming toward you:
1. Do not stop where you are. You would be amazed at how many people see us coming and just stop exactly where they are in the middle of the road. I'm not sure why but they stop causing us to slam on our breaks and take evasive maneuvers in order to hopefully not give them an ambulance enema.
2. Do not try and beat the ambulance. When you see us coming and you are at an intersection do not speed up and try to pull out in front of us and beat us. Don't play the "I didn't see you" excuse either. I have driven it up to an intersection and the people saw us and just glared when we honked our horn because they couldn't wait the 10 seconds for us to pass. I've been flipped off because they tried to beat us and we didn't slow down.
3. When stopped at an intersection do not run the red light or pull out in front of the people next to you. We will go around you or stop until the light changes and you can get out of our way.
4. Do not pull over to the left, if at all possible pull over to the right. The right is the other left.
5. Last but not least. DO NOT IGNORE US WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! You would be amazed at how many people ignore us and just keep on going. Then they get mad at us when it takes us forever to get to their own emergency.
In the end please pull over to the right. Please do not put yourself into danger in order to get out of our way. We have a job to do, do not get pissed at us because we are going to some one's emergency. Remember when you have your own emergency how you were an ass and made us late to someone else's. Thank you.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Death
I don't have cable for my television at home. If I watch tv it's while I'm at work and getting some time between calls to sit down and watch it. What exactly does this have to do about death? I'm getting there just hold on a few minutes.
Today's television shows have gone down hill a bit there's so many reality shows it's mind boggling. Shows from what people's work day is like, how their family is famous and screwed up so everybody wants to watch, to let's see what we can force people to do in order to win some money. There are a couple shows though that make me laugh because no matter what the title is or how they try to change it they are all about one thing: ghosts and death.
Now I've watched a few of these shows that go around to various places to try and catch some proof. They believe that sometimes after we die our spirit or soul or whatever plasmid substance we have stays around in order to either terrify the living or try to get their last thoughts out. Or as some of the shows think that they are stuck in a constant loop in some point of the living person's life. These types of shows bring up an interesting thought, that humans are obsessed over death. Yes I know this isn't a new theory or thought but now it's my turn to weigh in.
As a Paramedic I've seen my fair share of death. Mostly the death I see are when the elderly finally die and their family has found them or witnessed it. I have seen some younger people die some at their own hand others because wrong place wrong time. Death is a part of life, we all have a beginning middle and end and the end doesn't always have to be so bad.
In the medical field there's a small piece of paper that some of our patients carry that is the most amazing thing in the world. It's called a DNR or Do Not Resusate order. With this piece of paper patients can have some control and dignity over their death. This piece of paper is used when a person dies. They have to be of sound mind in order to sign it, or a family member that has legal control to make medical decisions may sign as well. These orders give us the instructions the dying person wants followed. They can tell us that in the event of their death they do not want us to try and to revive them with CPR or any other measures, that they want comfort measures only. This means they are kept as warm and comfortable as possible, that we can give them oxygen in order to keep them comfortable. There are no heroics in order to try and save them. Or the person can specify that they want us to try and save them, but they do not want a breathing tube placed in their airway and put on a ventilator, or that they do not want medications given, or to be kept alive if there is no brain function.
When I say that this piece of paper is amazing it's not because it means we don't have to less work it's because it's easier on my patients. Performing CPR on a person is traumatic to their body if a person is doing CPR correctly they will break ribs. The ribs must be broken away from the sternum (breast bone) so that it can be pushed down in order to cause the heart to push blood through the body. We have to stick people with needles in order to give them medication to try and restart the heart, we bounce them around in a speeding moving ambulance. It's hard on the body, this doesn't mean it doesn't always work and can truly save a life. Sometimes it restores body function but the brain is always dead, and if there's no quality to your life there's no real living.
Death can be an honorable and peaceful process. I'm not talking about the murders and all the horrible ways of dieing, I'm talking about dieing in your sleep, dieing when you're older and know it will happen sometime in the future. Unfortunately just because our patients want the DNR sometimes family members do not. This causes problems for us EMS folks.
The problem this causes is unfortunately simple, in order for us to honor a DNR it must be present. If we do not have a copy in our hands that we can look at we cannot honor it. I have had family members tell me several times that our patients have an DNR but they cannot find it. In some cases this is true, the paperwork has gone missing. In others not so much. I have had family members tear up the DNR as our patient goes into cardiac arrest forcing our hand into running the code (CPR in progress). I understand that they are grieving and not ready for their family member to die, I get that. I've lost family members and I've lost family members that were on hospice.
In this job I have to admit for the most part I do not feel bad for the person that has died. They are no longer in pain, they no longer suffer with the problems of aging and with the inability to live life how they want to. As my granddad used to say "The golden years just aren't that golden." The sympathy I feel is for the family and loved ones that are left behind. They are the ones that must feel the pain of the lost loved one, they are the ones left behind. There have been times I've stayed after a loved one was pronounced dead at a hospital in order to speak with the family and give my condolences. It's hard on the EMS people as well. It's hard doing everything you can to know that most likely it's not going to do any good. It wears you out some days.
Death comes to us all. We can't control it and we can't stop it. Just try to make what time we have worth while it's not that quantity that counts it's the quality.
Today's television shows have gone down hill a bit there's so many reality shows it's mind boggling. Shows from what people's work day is like, how their family is famous and screwed up so everybody wants to watch, to let's see what we can force people to do in order to win some money. There are a couple shows though that make me laugh because no matter what the title is or how they try to change it they are all about one thing: ghosts and death.
Now I've watched a few of these shows that go around to various places to try and catch some proof. They believe that sometimes after we die our spirit or soul or whatever plasmid substance we have stays around in order to either terrify the living or try to get their last thoughts out. Or as some of the shows think that they are stuck in a constant loop in some point of the living person's life. These types of shows bring up an interesting thought, that humans are obsessed over death. Yes I know this isn't a new theory or thought but now it's my turn to weigh in.
As a Paramedic I've seen my fair share of death. Mostly the death I see are when the elderly finally die and their family has found them or witnessed it. I have seen some younger people die some at their own hand others because wrong place wrong time. Death is a part of life, we all have a beginning middle and end and the end doesn't always have to be so bad.
In the medical field there's a small piece of paper that some of our patients carry that is the most amazing thing in the world. It's called a DNR or Do Not Resusate order. With this piece of paper patients can have some control and dignity over their death. This piece of paper is used when a person dies. They have to be of sound mind in order to sign it, or a family member that has legal control to make medical decisions may sign as well. These orders give us the instructions the dying person wants followed. They can tell us that in the event of their death they do not want us to try and to revive them with CPR or any other measures, that they want comfort measures only. This means they are kept as warm and comfortable as possible, that we can give them oxygen in order to keep them comfortable. There are no heroics in order to try and save them. Or the person can specify that they want us to try and save them, but they do not want a breathing tube placed in their airway and put on a ventilator, or that they do not want medications given, or to be kept alive if there is no brain function.
When I say that this piece of paper is amazing it's not because it means we don't have to less work it's because it's easier on my patients. Performing CPR on a person is traumatic to their body if a person is doing CPR correctly they will break ribs. The ribs must be broken away from the sternum (breast bone) so that it can be pushed down in order to cause the heart to push blood through the body. We have to stick people with needles in order to give them medication to try and restart the heart, we bounce them around in a speeding moving ambulance. It's hard on the body, this doesn't mean it doesn't always work and can truly save a life. Sometimes it restores body function but the brain is always dead, and if there's no quality to your life there's no real living.
Death can be an honorable and peaceful process. I'm not talking about the murders and all the horrible ways of dieing, I'm talking about dieing in your sleep, dieing when you're older and know it will happen sometime in the future. Unfortunately just because our patients want the DNR sometimes family members do not. This causes problems for us EMS folks.
The problem this causes is unfortunately simple, in order for us to honor a DNR it must be present. If we do not have a copy in our hands that we can look at we cannot honor it. I have had family members tell me several times that our patients have an DNR but they cannot find it. In some cases this is true, the paperwork has gone missing. In others not so much. I have had family members tear up the DNR as our patient goes into cardiac arrest forcing our hand into running the code (CPR in progress). I understand that they are grieving and not ready for their family member to die, I get that. I've lost family members and I've lost family members that were on hospice.
In this job I have to admit for the most part I do not feel bad for the person that has died. They are no longer in pain, they no longer suffer with the problems of aging and with the inability to live life how they want to. As my granddad used to say "The golden years just aren't that golden." The sympathy I feel is for the family and loved ones that are left behind. They are the ones that must feel the pain of the lost loved one, they are the ones left behind. There have been times I've stayed after a loved one was pronounced dead at a hospital in order to speak with the family and give my condolences. It's hard on the EMS people as well. It's hard doing everything you can to know that most likely it's not going to do any good. It wears you out some days.
Death comes to us all. We can't control it and we can't stop it. Just try to make what time we have worth while it's not that quantity that counts it's the quality.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Behavorials Part One
So I've been known as a bitch before and that's ok. Usually it's because I've called someone on their bs and they get mad and butt hurt about it. One reason I think you can call me a bitch is because yes I admit it, sometimes I laugh at other people's pain (especially if it came about in an unusual or funny way) or in their craziness. Now I know that most people cannot control the fact that there are imbalances in the chemical make up of their minds and they cannot control what psychiatric problems they have. I also acknowledge the fact that some people have had traumatic things happen in their lives or that they were mistreated in some way that caused them to act the way they are. These people are actually legit and I do not laugh at them or about them, I hope these people truly get the help they need. I'm not that heartless people. Then there's the people that aren't crazy or anything and are nothing more than attention seeking jerks. These jerks I have issues with, they give the others a bad name.
When it comes to the "crazy" people or our behavioral calls there's the normal calls we get and then every once in awhile we'll get one that's just amazing. Whenever we get psychiatric calls they usually come out on the radio as "behavioral" or if the person has suicidal thoughts then obviously it will come out as suicidal or suicidal attempt.
Let me explain something real quick. Now in our state if a person says five magical words then by law they are going to the hospital. These words being "I want to hurt myself" or "I want to hurt *insert name of person". Once these words are mentioned a person can no longer refuse care and has to be taken in. They get to choose their ride of course. They can choose between the back of the nice police car in handcuffs that doesn't cost them anything, or they can go in the back of the nice ambulance that either they will pay for or the tax payers will pay for. It's always an amazing feeling taking someone in knowing that I'm paying for their ride with my taxes. Believe it or not once these words are mention no matter how much you promise that you don't mean it or you won't actually kill yourself or someone else we cannot leave you wherever we picked you up. This concept seems to boggle people's minds. Look people I don't know you (it's rare that I know someone I pick up) and there's no way I'm going to take the word of some stranger that they won't hurt themselves after making statements or trying to cut themselves so just man up and take the ride.
Now lately there's been an increase of people with suicidal ideations (SI). These are usually people who just have thoughts of suicide with no attempt or plan of killing themselves. These people can be broken up into four subcategories.
The first category would be the "I want to die because my *insert significant other* doesn't love me any more" These lovely and smart people (even I can't help the seething sarcasm) believe that if they say they are going to kill themselves, or take pills or cut themselves, then their significant other will come runing back to them because they will magically see the error of their ways. Of course this usually doesn't work and instead they get a nice little ambulance ride to the hospital.
The second category is the "My parents don't love me, won't let me do whatever activity, are making me do chores or something else so I want to kill myself to make them feel sorry" Yes these are actually somewhat popular at least around here. We get various aged teenagers that decide their parents are "so unfair" because they won't let them go to parties, or stay out past their curfews, or make them do their chores so they decide to take pills or drink nail polish remover (not making that up). Or these kids think that their parents don't care enough for them so what better way to show them they care than to pop pills or cut themselves.
The third category would be the people that are suicidal because they are in jail or are in police custody and believe that saying so will get them out of said jail. These people suffer from what we like to call incarceritis (the allergic reaction of being in police custody) The funny thing is they don't release that all it does is gets them a bed in a hospital for a few hours with their own personal guard and handcuffs. They will still go back to jail and still have to deal with the cops.
And the fourth lovely type of suicidal person is the attention seeking jerkoff. These are people that decide they want attention from someone and so they decide to take pills, scratch themselves, or just call 911. These people are not really suicidal they just want someone to give them attention and would never actually kill themselves. They are usually whiney and can't understand why we are annoyed at them. They even tell us that they really aren't suicidal really, they just want someone to listen to them.I have taken in many of these kinds of people my favorite's response when asked why he was suicidal was "Why not?" as he proceeded to laugh at me.
I guess a fifth subcategory for suicidal people would be the famous drunk suicidal. These are people that when sober have no need or want to kill themselves, but as soon as they are drunk decide the world is too horrible to live in and want to die.
When this happens the hospitals can't do an evaluation for possible admittance to a psych hospital until they are sober. By then they usually are released because they are no longer depressed. It's all the alcohol, go figure.
For some reason people think that if they overdose, and by overdose I mean actually taking a lot of a pill not taking one or two more than the directions say to, on over the counter medications such as tylenol (or tylenol pm is very popular) or ibuprofen or benedryl that they aren't doing any harm and they will get the desired response out of their target. Let me set the record straight. If you take enough tylenol you can actually die. If you take enough tylenol or ibuprofen that you actually kill yourself in the attempt then you will die in the most unpleasent and long lasting death you could ever dream of. There is an antidote for tylenol overdose but if not given in time the person is screwed, there is no antidote for ibuprofen. Tylenol deaths are long and painful, you start breathing very quickly because your body now has way too much acid in it's blood stream. Your liver and kidneys star to shut down and usually in three to four days you are dead. That is after they place a tube down your throat to help you breath, you're stuck with so many needles, and various other things, and the last thing you will remember before you die is pain. The same goes for ibuprofen overdoses, so yeah let's all go pop pills.
There's so much more I want to say about behavorial calls, some are actually very interesting, but I think I'll save it for part two.
*Side note: Ok so it came to my attention I may have sounded cold and heartless with this post. Let me try and explain. I am not a cold heartless person. I truly got into this profession in order to help people. I do realise that my veiw points seem harsh. Unfortunately in this job we are over run with bullshit calls. We are abused by people who believe we are nothing more than a glorified taxi here to do everything they say. I truly believe that there are people out there that both need and want help. That they call us for this reason. For the people that want help and are not able to find it any where else but to call us I have sympathy. For the people that really are depressed and feel they are at the end of their rope and the only way they can get help is to call us, I have compassion. For the people that act in any of the above ways mentioned in this post I have issues with. I have lost friends to suicide, I have people that I care about who are actually depressed and have mental issues. I have problems with people who want attention and want sympathy from people and believe that they deserve to have others bow down to them and give them everything they want. It is not a crutch, it is not a bargaining chip. It is a disease.
I do realise that what I say and how exactly it is meant may not be the same thing. Through out this blog I will do my best to make the reader understand truly how I feel but there will always be some loss in translation, and there will always be some loss if the reader has never been in this profession. I can't fix that. So there, I tried.
When it comes to the "crazy" people or our behavioral calls there's the normal calls we get and then every once in awhile we'll get one that's just amazing. Whenever we get psychiatric calls they usually come out on the radio as "behavioral" or if the person has suicidal thoughts then obviously it will come out as suicidal or suicidal attempt.
Let me explain something real quick. Now in our state if a person says five magical words then by law they are going to the hospital. These words being "I want to hurt myself" or "I want to hurt *insert name of person". Once these words are mentioned a person can no longer refuse care and has to be taken in. They get to choose their ride of course. They can choose between the back of the nice police car in handcuffs that doesn't cost them anything, or they can go in the back of the nice ambulance that either they will pay for or the tax payers will pay for. It's always an amazing feeling taking someone in knowing that I'm paying for their ride with my taxes. Believe it or not once these words are mention no matter how much you promise that you don't mean it or you won't actually kill yourself or someone else we cannot leave you wherever we picked you up. This concept seems to boggle people's minds. Look people I don't know you (it's rare that I know someone I pick up) and there's no way I'm going to take the word of some stranger that they won't hurt themselves after making statements or trying to cut themselves so just man up and take the ride.
Now lately there's been an increase of people with suicidal ideations (SI). These are usually people who just have thoughts of suicide with no attempt or plan of killing themselves. These people can be broken up into four subcategories.
The first category would be the "I want to die because my *insert significant other* doesn't love me any more" These lovely and smart people (even I can't help the seething sarcasm) believe that if they say they are going to kill themselves, or take pills or cut themselves, then their significant other will come runing back to them because they will magically see the error of their ways. Of course this usually doesn't work and instead they get a nice little ambulance ride to the hospital.
The second category is the "My parents don't love me, won't let me do whatever activity, are making me do chores or something else so I want to kill myself to make them feel sorry" Yes these are actually somewhat popular at least around here. We get various aged teenagers that decide their parents are "so unfair" because they won't let them go to parties, or stay out past their curfews, or make them do their chores so they decide to take pills or drink nail polish remover (not making that up). Or these kids think that their parents don't care enough for them so what better way to show them they care than to pop pills or cut themselves.
The third category would be the people that are suicidal because they are in jail or are in police custody and believe that saying so will get them out of said jail. These people suffer from what we like to call incarceritis (the allergic reaction of being in police custody) The funny thing is they don't release that all it does is gets them a bed in a hospital for a few hours with their own personal guard and handcuffs. They will still go back to jail and still have to deal with the cops.
And the fourth lovely type of suicidal person is the attention seeking jerkoff. These are people that decide they want attention from someone and so they decide to take pills, scratch themselves, or just call 911. These people are not really suicidal they just want someone to give them attention and would never actually kill themselves. They are usually whiney and can't understand why we are annoyed at them. They even tell us that they really aren't suicidal really, they just want someone to listen to them.I have taken in many of these kinds of people my favorite's response when asked why he was suicidal was "Why not?" as he proceeded to laugh at me.
I guess a fifth subcategory for suicidal people would be the famous drunk suicidal. These are people that when sober have no need or want to kill themselves, but as soon as they are drunk decide the world is too horrible to live in and want to die.
When this happens the hospitals can't do an evaluation for possible admittance to a psych hospital until they are sober. By then they usually are released because they are no longer depressed. It's all the alcohol, go figure.
For some reason people think that if they overdose, and by overdose I mean actually taking a lot of a pill not taking one or two more than the directions say to, on over the counter medications such as tylenol (or tylenol pm is very popular) or ibuprofen or benedryl that they aren't doing any harm and they will get the desired response out of their target. Let me set the record straight. If you take enough tylenol you can actually die. If you take enough tylenol or ibuprofen that you actually kill yourself in the attempt then you will die in the most unpleasent and long lasting death you could ever dream of. There is an antidote for tylenol overdose but if not given in time the person is screwed, there is no antidote for ibuprofen. Tylenol deaths are long and painful, you start breathing very quickly because your body now has way too much acid in it's blood stream. Your liver and kidneys star to shut down and usually in three to four days you are dead. That is after they place a tube down your throat to help you breath, you're stuck with so many needles, and various other things, and the last thing you will remember before you die is pain. The same goes for ibuprofen overdoses, so yeah let's all go pop pills.
There's so much more I want to say about behavorial calls, some are actually very interesting, but I think I'll save it for part two.
*Side note: Ok so it came to my attention I may have sounded cold and heartless with this post. Let me try and explain. I am not a cold heartless person. I truly got into this profession in order to help people. I do realise that my veiw points seem harsh. Unfortunately in this job we are over run with bullshit calls. We are abused by people who believe we are nothing more than a glorified taxi here to do everything they say. I truly believe that there are people out there that both need and want help. That they call us for this reason. For the people that want help and are not able to find it any where else but to call us I have sympathy. For the people that really are depressed and feel they are at the end of their rope and the only way they can get help is to call us, I have compassion. For the people that act in any of the above ways mentioned in this post I have issues with. I have lost friends to suicide, I have people that I care about who are actually depressed and have mental issues. I have problems with people who want attention and want sympathy from people and believe that they deserve to have others bow down to them and give them everything they want. It is not a crutch, it is not a bargaining chip. It is a disease.
I do realise that what I say and how exactly it is meant may not be the same thing. Through out this blog I will do my best to make the reader understand truly how I feel but there will always be some loss in translation, and there will always be some loss if the reader has never been in this profession. I can't fix that. So there, I tried.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Drunks
To drink alcohol is a right every adult over 21 and many kids under take seriously. Why shouldn't we? Advertisement agencies for the various alcohol companies spend millions in commercials, advertising, and free merchandise to get us to consume their own tasty beverage. It is ingrained in us whenever we watch tv or a movie, after a hard day of work the best way to unwind and relax is to sit down with the alcoholic beverage of your choice and you will feel so much better.
The problem is when a person drinks too many of those adult beverages and becomes drunk. No scratch that, the problem is not that they are drunk, the problem is that they are either drunk in public or their friends think that being drunk is a medical emergency. Being drunk is not a medical emergency, it can become one if the person has had so much that they now have alcohol poisoning.
This is usually characterized by the person passing out and you are unable to wake them up, their breathing has dramatically slowed down (around 8 breaths a minute), their skin is starting to turn blue or starting to become pale, they are having seizures, or they are becoming hypothermic. If any of these happen it's a great time to call the ambulance and you should call 911.(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Do not use this blog as a way to diagnose any medical issues or as a way of treatment. Always seek medical attention if you believe something is wrong with you or another. This is my ranting not a medical journal.)
If a person does not have the signs and symptoms of alcohol poisoning then usually they are just drunk. This is not a time to call the ambulance. If a person is talking, dancing, yelling, screaming, swinging their arms, or kicking, then usually they are fine and instead need a place to sleep. Again not a time to call the ambulance. If a drunk is drinking still behind a trash can, or doing other things we never want to think about, this is not a time to call the ambulance. We get called to people who are walking along the street or are not bothering anybody and are passed out behind a trash can all the time. This is because the person who drove by called 911 because they "saw a drunk doing *insert various activities i.e. walking, talking, sitting, sleeping* ". These usually come down as welfare checks or intoxicated persons.
This is usually not that bad except that when these calls go out not only is an ambulance called but so are the police and the fire dept. In our area the fire dept is called out to every call and can start treating our patients before we get there which comes in handy. If the person is so drunk that the police do not cancel us then we usually have to transport the intoxicated person. This type of call can go in so many directions its not even funny. Let me explain, the drunk person (male, female, or sometimes not really sure) comes in a variety of different types. (that is for a whole new blog). Whatever your personality is when your sober it can either be changed with alcohol or it can be increased. If you are an ass when sober then chances are when you are drunk you are just a bigger asshole.
When it comes to being able to refuse transport by ambulance a person must be able to answer four simple questions we use to see how with it they are. These are: Whats the date, month, year, and the president. Sometimes we change it up to: how old are you? Where are you? Something that a person who is not on drugs, alcohol, or who is completely with it could answer. If you can not answer our simple questions then by law we cannot leave you wherever we found you. This is the LAW here, I don't make the rules just try and follow them so I get to keep my job. I like having a place to live, its not my fault that people like to sue medical workers for stupid shit and if we leave you when you cant answer our questions it is our butts on the line.
Usually when we pick up a drunk off the street it's one of our regulars (yes our regulars are all homeless except for probably two) and yes they usually smell horrible. There's nothing like the smell of unwashed human mixed with stale and current alcohol throw in a heaping dash of vomit and urine and a big ol' scoop of cigarettes and you have so many of our drunks. And then package all of this into a tiny little mobile box with a tiny ventilation system and a window that won't stay open because the latch is broken yet again. The smell alone makes me question my sanity as to why I do my job. But then to top it off you have to add in their personality. I'm not sure how to handle the fact that I get hit on by more homeless (and not homeless) drunk guys than I ever do sober. I've had men tell me how amazing my tits are ( how I'm not sure because our uniforms aren't that stylish) ask for my email so they can send me dirty jokes, and over all try to get handsy and tell me how beautiful I am. Usually this is just something you ignore.
I usually get cranky with the drunks when it comes to them being assholes and thinking that just because they are drunk and a male that they can say whatever they want and do whatever they want. I've been kicked, hit, almost bit, spit at and called some of the most amazing and flattering names by a drunk. I usually like to keep track of the more interesting names, I believe the one that wins was a very angry woman who had a few too many to drink. Top this all off with the fact that she felt unloved and believed she was suicidal. For some reason she believed the ambulance crew was the bad guys and that we were there to make her life hell. She yelled at us (mostly me) for being alive, for looking at her, touching her, sitting down, for talking to her for anything and everything. The breaking point was the phrase "Just fucking leave me alone you fucking fat buffalo! I'm not talking to you...continues to rant and rave.." Yeah being a buffalo made my night.
In the end we get called to drunks a lot. We could be considered a drunk taxi. Yeah I'm not sure why I do what I do some days, and considering I'm what you call a drunk magnet I would love to meet the first person who invented alcohol, shake their hand, and punch them right in the nuts. Asshole.
The problem is when a person drinks too many of those adult beverages and becomes drunk. No scratch that, the problem is not that they are drunk, the problem is that they are either drunk in public or their friends think that being drunk is a medical emergency. Being drunk is not a medical emergency, it can become one if the person has had so much that they now have alcohol poisoning.
This is usually characterized by the person passing out and you are unable to wake them up, their breathing has dramatically slowed down (around 8 breaths a minute), their skin is starting to turn blue or starting to become pale, they are having seizures, or they are becoming hypothermic. If any of these happen it's a great time to call the ambulance and you should call 911.(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Do not use this blog as a way to diagnose any medical issues or as a way of treatment. Always seek medical attention if you believe something is wrong with you or another. This is my ranting not a medical journal.)
If a person does not have the signs and symptoms of alcohol poisoning then usually they are just drunk. This is not a time to call the ambulance. If a person is talking, dancing, yelling, screaming, swinging their arms, or kicking, then usually they are fine and instead need a place to sleep. Again not a time to call the ambulance. If a drunk is drinking still behind a trash can, or doing other things we never want to think about, this is not a time to call the ambulance. We get called to people who are walking along the street or are not bothering anybody and are passed out behind a trash can all the time. This is because the person who drove by called 911 because they "saw a drunk doing *insert various activities i.e. walking, talking, sitting, sleeping* ". These usually come down as welfare checks or intoxicated persons.
This is usually not that bad except that when these calls go out not only is an ambulance called but so are the police and the fire dept. In our area the fire dept is called out to every call and can start treating our patients before we get there which comes in handy. If the person is so drunk that the police do not cancel us then we usually have to transport the intoxicated person. This type of call can go in so many directions its not even funny. Let me explain, the drunk person (male, female, or sometimes not really sure) comes in a variety of different types. (that is for a whole new blog). Whatever your personality is when your sober it can either be changed with alcohol or it can be increased. If you are an ass when sober then chances are when you are drunk you are just a bigger asshole.
When it comes to being able to refuse transport by ambulance a person must be able to answer four simple questions we use to see how with it they are. These are: Whats the date, month, year, and the president. Sometimes we change it up to: how old are you? Where are you? Something that a person who is not on drugs, alcohol, or who is completely with it could answer. If you can not answer our simple questions then by law we cannot leave you wherever we found you. This is the LAW here, I don't make the rules just try and follow them so I get to keep my job. I like having a place to live, its not my fault that people like to sue medical workers for stupid shit and if we leave you when you cant answer our questions it is our butts on the line.
Usually when we pick up a drunk off the street it's one of our regulars (yes our regulars are all homeless except for probably two) and yes they usually smell horrible. There's nothing like the smell of unwashed human mixed with stale and current alcohol throw in a heaping dash of vomit and urine and a big ol' scoop of cigarettes and you have so many of our drunks. And then package all of this into a tiny little mobile box with a tiny ventilation system and a window that won't stay open because the latch is broken yet again. The smell alone makes me question my sanity as to why I do my job. But then to top it off you have to add in their personality. I'm not sure how to handle the fact that I get hit on by more homeless (and not homeless) drunk guys than I ever do sober. I've had men tell me how amazing my tits are ( how I'm not sure because our uniforms aren't that stylish) ask for my email so they can send me dirty jokes, and over all try to get handsy and tell me how beautiful I am. Usually this is just something you ignore.
I usually get cranky with the drunks when it comes to them being assholes and thinking that just because they are drunk and a male that they can say whatever they want and do whatever they want. I've been kicked, hit, almost bit, spit at and called some of the most amazing and flattering names by a drunk. I usually like to keep track of the more interesting names, I believe the one that wins was a very angry woman who had a few too many to drink. Top this all off with the fact that she felt unloved and believed she was suicidal. For some reason she believed the ambulance crew was the bad guys and that we were there to make her life hell. She yelled at us (mostly me) for being alive, for looking at her, touching her, sitting down, for talking to her for anything and everything. The breaking point was the phrase "Just fucking leave me alone you fucking fat buffalo! I'm not talking to you...continues to rant and rave.." Yeah being a buffalo made my night.
In the end we get called to drunks a lot. We could be considered a drunk taxi. Yeah I'm not sure why I do what I do some days, and considering I'm what you call a drunk magnet I would love to meet the first person who invented alcohol, shake their hand, and punch them right in the nuts. Asshole.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
In the Beginning..
OK so this is a blog. I'm excited. So why have I finally joined most of the world and started my own blog? There are two answers for this, one is Ive been poked and prodded by my friends because they want my stories. The other reason? Why not? Maybe it will help me remember this time in my life, maybe it will help me free up memory in my head who knows. Let me explain this blog just a little bit and a bit about myself. I am a 25 year old paramedic in the great state of New Mexico. Yes ladies and gents, New Mexico is a state it is that space between Texas and Arizona. Yes we have running water and electricity. And no we are not apart of Mexico. I have been a medic for three years now. Yes I got my license at the age of 22, yes I am young, and yes I am good at my job. This blog is about my days at work, my thoughts on things, and just anything I feel like talking about that day.
When it comes to being a EMT there's a few basics you need to know. There are four different levels of EMTs. This also depends on where you practice there may be less or are allowed to do different things. The first level is called the first responder. These are usually seen with the volunteer fire depts. They are allowed to do vitals, stop bleeding, do cpr and give some basic drugs. They are also allowed to do basic airway things like assist a person in breathing or put various tubes down their throats to help in breathing. The next level is the emt basic. They are allowed to give more drugs then the first responder but that's about the only real difference. The next level is the emt intermediate. With this level you get more drugs and you get to learn how to do ivs along with the io. The io for those that do not know in laymen terms is a large needle that we drill into a patients leg in order to give iv fluids and medications when it is absolutely necessary and we are unable to get and iv. The highest level of emt is the paramedic. We get the most drugs we get to shock people when their hearts are in the wrong rhythm, we get to intubate, place a tube in a persons throat in order to help them breath, we get to stick a needle into a persons chest when their lungs have collapsed, we get to do all the cool stuff.
Now before I go on I would like to dispel some myths that people have about the ambulance. We do not have designated drivers. When going to a call whoever has the keys drives. When taking a patient to the hospital the level of care that the patient needs makes them whoever has that level of care. Most trucks here have one paramedic and one emt basic or intermediate. There really is no "ambulance driver". We are emts that happen to drive an ambulance to get to our patients and get them to the hospital. Another myth that seems to surface is that if you go to the hospital via the ambulance you will be seen faster. this is simply not true. It is based on how serious you are vs. the hospitals room and level of serious patients ahead of you. I have taken several patients straight to the triage room to be put in the lobby.
Now the last thing I would like to say at the end of the very first blog post to this thing. The stories in this blog are true, they did happen. names, places, some things have been changed in order to keep patients identy private and to keep the hippa vultures at bay. Some things in here may make some of my fellow ems coworkers unhappy if they find out. Sorry this is my blog my thoughts I get to put what I want and I dont care what you say so go complain to some one that will listen. If you havent noticed by now I am a smart ass, I do have a sense of humor, I like to have fun if you think you can handle this then sit back and enjoy the ride.
When it comes to being a EMT there's a few basics you need to know. There are four different levels of EMTs. This also depends on where you practice there may be less or are allowed to do different things. The first level is called the first responder. These are usually seen with the volunteer fire depts. They are allowed to do vitals, stop bleeding, do cpr and give some basic drugs. They are also allowed to do basic airway things like assist a person in breathing or put various tubes down their throats to help in breathing. The next level is the emt basic. They are allowed to give more drugs then the first responder but that's about the only real difference. The next level is the emt intermediate. With this level you get more drugs and you get to learn how to do ivs along with the io. The io for those that do not know in laymen terms is a large needle that we drill into a patients leg in order to give iv fluids and medications when it is absolutely necessary and we are unable to get and iv. The highest level of emt is the paramedic. We get the most drugs we get to shock people when their hearts are in the wrong rhythm, we get to intubate, place a tube in a persons throat in order to help them breath, we get to stick a needle into a persons chest when their lungs have collapsed, we get to do all the cool stuff.
Now before I go on I would like to dispel some myths that people have about the ambulance. We do not have designated drivers. When going to a call whoever has the keys drives. When taking a patient to the hospital the level of care that the patient needs makes them whoever has that level of care. Most trucks here have one paramedic and one emt basic or intermediate. There really is no "ambulance driver". We are emts that happen to drive an ambulance to get to our patients and get them to the hospital. Another myth that seems to surface is that if you go to the hospital via the ambulance you will be seen faster. this is simply not true. It is based on how serious you are vs. the hospitals room and level of serious patients ahead of you. I have taken several patients straight to the triage room to be put in the lobby.
Now the last thing I would like to say at the end of the very first blog post to this thing. The stories in this blog are true, they did happen. names, places, some things have been changed in order to keep patients identy private and to keep the hippa vultures at bay. Some things in here may make some of my fellow ems coworkers unhappy if they find out. Sorry this is my blog my thoughts I get to put what I want and I dont care what you say so go complain to some one that will listen. If you havent noticed by now I am a smart ass, I do have a sense of humor, I like to have fun if you think you can handle this then sit back and enjoy the ride.
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